Another Place to Fall

I’m an English major and have studied a lot of literature over the past decade. There’s so much meaning in words, in stories and in songs. Music in particular fascinates me. There’s so much depth to music and it can provide so much meaning to our lives. The amazing thing is there’s no right or wrong way to interpret it. What it meant for the songwriter who wrote it might be completely different for what it means to the person who listens to it. For example, K T Tunstall’s song Another Place to Fall.

Are you blind

Blind to me trying to be kind
Volunteering for your firing line
Waiting for one precious sign

 

The flicker of a smile
You should try it just once in a while
Maybe it’s not quite your style
It’s simply too easy to do
And you might not see it through

 

Are you proud
To have founded a brand new behavior
With hatred and hurt as your savior
But nobody’s choosing to follow
So you choke back the tears and you swallow

 

Men who have ruined your life
You consume them with minimum strife
But now you have got indigestion
The antacid comes as a question

 

Find yourself another place to fall
Find yourself up against another brick wall
See yourself as a fallen angel
Well I don’t see no holes in the road but you
Find another place to fall

 

Are you alive
Is there a young woman hiding inside
Does she know that we’re trying to help her
Is she totally frozen with fear
If you let her come out for a day
She might even like it and stay
But it’s gonna take you to invite her
Coz you seem so determined to spite her

 

Find yourself

There isn’t much more I can say

For I don’t understand the delay

You’re asking for friendly advice

And remaining in permanent crisis

Affection is yours if you ask

But first you must take off your mask

When your back’s turned I’ve decided I’ll throw it away just like I did

Find yourself

 

The layers in this song are pretty complex. To me, it’s an anthem to women around the world to stop using men as an excuse, to stop being a victim and instead accept and move on. As women we really can be our own worst enemies, holding on to anger and pain past the point when we should have let them go. I know in my life I’m as guilty of this as any other. I still carry the shadows of my last relationship within me. But every day I’m making progress toward letting those shadows go. What has really helped with that is realizing a couple of things.

First, his issues are not mine nor are they my fault. They are his issues. He chose not to fix them or do anything about them. I tried to help him. I did everything humanly possible to save our relationship. I cannot blame myself for my strength giving out in the end and being unable to fight anymore. Everyone has their limits and I didn’t give up on our relationship. I gave up on a lost cause so I could move forward and be productive in my own life again. He was an anchor holding me down and I had no choice but to break free. I would be doing myself and others a disservice to hang on to all of that pain and remorse.

My best friend, who I talked about previously, helped me to see that. Thank God for Jon. If not for him, I would be bitter and angry, living alone and swearing off men forever. Instead, he helped me see that one relationship should not prevent me from having a successful relationship. He has helped me heal in remarkable time.

I also think the song is talking about letting others in and to help you heal. The amazing power within each of us can be greatly increased by allowing others in to help. That’s what I did with Jon and he kept me from going right back into a cycle of loneliness. So ladies, let others in, let them help you heal the pain. You don’t have to do it alone. And don’t be afraid to try again. Yes, learn from your mistakes but don’t make another mistake by refusing to open yourself up again. Find yourself again after that pain and stop punishing yourself.

And in the words of my best friend, “It’s gonna be okay.”

Advertisements

Your Turn

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s