I’m in the midst of a divorce. I’ve torn my life apart and am in the process of rebuilding it from the ground up. I’m also in a new relationship with a man I’ve known for four years. My new boyfriend is my soon-to-be ex-husband’s best friend of 25 years. If that doesn’t sound like the perfect subtitle to a Jerry Springer show, I don’t know what does!
It wasn’t something we set out to do. I don’t think either of us even saw it coming. I suppose the signs were there but we chose not to see them. We were both married to other people. We both respected that. But when my relationship began to crumble and I sought him out for advice and to cope, that’s when my future changed.
Jon knew and understood Brian better than anyone. It helped that he is intuitively understanding about people. He’s an empath, which means he can understand and interpret people’s emotions. Literally I could say one word and he would know my mood from over the phone. He’s that intuitive.
Of course, I didn’t know it at the time but Jon’s relationship had been terrible for two years. That was something I didn’t know about until the end – I always thought they were happy together. And right before we got together, he even said, “I love my wife and I’m not going to leave her. Not for you or anyone”. I was fine with that – I just wanted to get laid. I wanted to feel better for a little while in the midst of my life disintegrating around me.
What happened after that was a shock to both of us. Jon realized his relationship was toxic as well. Helping me with my relationship helped him to look at his own relationship more closely and to realize how unhappy he was. So he ended his relationship around the same time I ended mine. Both of us acted independent of one another. Neither of us even knew until we told the other. It was a definite case of great minds think alike.
In any case, we started dating two months ago and I’ve fallen in love with him in record time. It feels like the most honest, right thing in the world. So much so that I don’t care if it turns out to be wrong. He makes me happy in a way no one ever has. I feel safe and secure like I never have. Being around him brings me peace and strength.
If it’s wrong, I never want it to end. I will happily go through my life being wrong. Sex with him is beyond words. We’ve explored each other, and pleasured one another in ways I never knew existed. It helps that he has the most incredible penis I’ve ever seen or felt. I can definitely say that size really does matter. It doesn’t have to be huge but a good size and a man who knows how to use it really makes a world of a difference.
I used to be pretty uninhibited until I met my husband. I didn’t realize how stale our sex life was. Doggie style or missionary. In the bed or in the tub. Those were my choices. And he would come in no time flat (at least until he started taking antidepressants, at which point it was pretty impossible for him to come).
Now, everyday seems like another new experience even better than the last one. Ladies, if you can’t share honest pleasure with your partner, you’re in the wrong relationship. My ex husband bought a vibrator for me but then would never use it on me. I’ll probably share some of my experiences and tips in another post at some point in the future. If you’re interested in that, please leave a comment and let me know.
But it’s more than just sex. We talk, for hours on end. I wake up in the morning excited to talk to him, to hear what he’s going to say. We share about everything – there is literally nothing off limits. When he leaves a room, I miss him in a physical way. I miss his presence. His solidity and spirit. His warmth.
We are a team in every way, working toward our goals and supporting each other. We plan to breed dogs and build a house together. He supports me in my varied business ventures. I’m pursuing my real estate license with his encouragement and support. And while the intimacy is new, the basis of our relationship is friendship. I never had that with my husband. Heck, Jon moved in before my ex had even moved out, which caused a certain amount of stress but nothing we couldn’t handle. By the time we’d been together nine days, Jon did something I never expected.
We were going out to get dinner and he got down on one knee, holding my hand. He asked me to marry him. He looked up at me with such love and devotion, I immediately began to cry. I could only nod.
Think about that for a moment. I am still living with my ex. I’ve started a new relationship and it’s nine days old but already I’m willing to marry him. And I didn’t hesitate. It’s as if I found the relationship and the love I should have had all along.
Don’t get me wrong, all is not completely perfect by any means but what little things there are (kids driving us crazy, finances being a pain in the ass, two pending divorces) are not enough to dull our relationship or alter our feelings toward each other one bit. I love him. He loves me. We want to spend our lives together being this happy and happier. It’s pretty incredible all in all. And I wouldn’t change a bit of it.